I was checking the balance on my smartphone ap while digging correct change from my ashtray in the parking lot of my favorite afternoon beverage stop.
It’s a venti kind of day.
I shut down the ap satisfied I have enough to cover my craving when I look up to meet the eyes of a middle aged woman staring me down from across the parking lot.
By staring down, I mean ready to snatch me bald.
I take a deep breath, close my ashtray and straighten my posture. I put on my “you’re gonna love me” smile as I get out of my nondescript sedan and head in her direction.
“Hi. How are you doing?” I say in my attempt to kill her with kindness.
She stares me down with an owlish expression. Blink. Blink. Head shake. Shoulder shake. Deep Sigh. I grow concerned as I wait for her response.
“I thought that was my car you were in. But my car is parked over there.” She says as we both turn our heads toward her nondescript sedan. Otherwise known as my car’s doppleganger.
“Happens to me all the time.” I reply.
Really. It does. Ask my kids.
As I head into the shop I recall my pastor saying that we should follow Jesus so closely that we can say with confidence, “Just follow me. I’m following him.” My life should resemble the belief that lives inside of me.
The truth is, I cannot always say I am following the footsteps of my savior closely enough to be mistaken for him.
I want my wrongs to be made right.
I want my comfort zone to be restored.
I want to give my emotions the key and the driver seat.
I want to go my own way. And, when I go my own way, I’m not following Jesus any longer.
Please tell me I am not alone in this.
The bible tells me that I am not alone in the process of transformation from me to he. He gave me his powerful Holy Spirit as a seal and a ransom for my life. I am marked as his. I have an advocate for prayer when I don’t know what to say. A mighty power that fills the void on days when I’m feeling particularly human.
The best promise is that his mercy is made new every morning. I have fresh grace and fresh mercy to call upon each and every day. A new opportunity to take the mistakes I made yesterday and turn them into opportunities for witness today. His redemption is powerful. And, it’s mine. (It’s yours too!)
When people see my life, my words and my choices, they should see my savior. They should see my flaws, refined and restored, in his amazing mercy and grace.
They should be overcome by His love overflowing from me.