“Are you okay mom?”
I smile and give a thumbs up as a tear slips from underneath my sunglasses. My little camper settles into the van ready for a week of fun, adventure and no parents! I, on the other hand, am an anxious mess. I have a queasy pit in my stomach.
It’s never easy to say goodbye.
I get into my car and head to work, thankful for the busy Monday ahead. On my way, I pray for travel mercy. I pray for peace for the little campers who will be away from home for the week. I pray for the counselors who will be investing into the lives of these little ones.
We even picked up a cocoa on the way to church.
But now it’s time to hand over the reigns.
I’m not so good at handing over the reigns.
“God, I need your peace in this moment of uncertainty. I need the strength to trust you. I feel so out of control. I know in my head she is going to have a great time. I know in my head you are going to move in her heart this week. Lord, let this truth resonate in my heart.”
Immediately, this thought occurs to me. “You jump on this emotional roller coaster every time I ask you to step out of your comfort zone.” In writing. In running. In allowing my kids out of my sight for a week to go to church camp, of all places. The emotions are messy yet I’m expecting God to show up in amazing ways. The words come out choppy and rough but a life is touched. The race is hard to run but there is the blessing of accomplishment and perseverance waiting at the finish line.
In the quiet of this week, I’m embracing the shift of dynamics in our home. It’s been a full 24 hours since I last called the dog Madi.
I’m dumping the guilt of feeling like I, myself, am on a bit of a vacation. She is our demanding one. The girl who demands action and drama at every turn. I’m enjoying the quiet laid back peace of my evenings knowing she is in the capable hands of her counselor and under the watchful eye of her heavenly father.
Besides, she has already assured me she will only miss her daddy and Zoe the diva wonder dog.
I’m counting the days until she is home again and our world returns to normal.
I’m expecting God’s best. Not only in her week, but in mine as well.