Five Minute Friday: Quiet

“Wow, it’s quiet”, I think to myself.

So silent my ears hurt.  When is the last time this has happened?

I took a few minutes for lunch at home. Something which seldom happens anymore. No kids. Sleeping husband.  Content critters.

No one and nothing needing me in this moment. And instead of basking in the moments of rest, I worry about what I should be doing instead.

Maybe fold the basket of laundry or start the dishes.

Isn’t that funny?  What is it about me that feels guilt in a time of unexpected rest? What prevents me from basking in the opportunity?

So in the moment, the laundry remains unfolded. The dishes remain undone and I read without distraction for the remainder of my time home.

Quiet.

So elusive yet so necessary in the stressed out moments of this busy life.

“Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and striving after the wind.”                             Ecc 4:6

 

This post is linked up with Kate Motaung’s five minute friday free write. You can find more like this at Kate Moutaung‘s , or you can take a stab at it yourself. See you there!

Five Minute Friday: Present

“This is a completely thankless thing to say but the interruptions around this place drive me absolutely crazy”, I complain to my boss.

With a frazzled expression, she nods in agreement.

We both know it’s and important part of our day, an imperative piece of our business.  But my goodness.  Sometimes, it’s just hard to stop the forward motion of progress.

I wake each day with a to do list.  Carefully planned.  Well thought out. A little whitespace for error.

And I really only feel good about the day when every item on my list is crossed off.

But lately, I have been challenged to live a little differently.  I have asked God to carry the whitespace of my day in his hands.  I have asked him to condition me for flexibility.

Only then can I appreciate interruption.  Only then can I be in the moment with the person who has crossed my path.  Only then can I live in the present moment, trusting God to cover every other detail of my life.

Lord, today, I commit the whitespace of my day only to you.

 

This post is linked up with Kate Motaung’s five minute friday free write. You can find more like this at Kate Moutaung‘s , or you can take a stab at it yourself. See you there!

 

Five Minute Friday: Trust

Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

Have you ever had one of those weeks?

Months?

Years?

The past ten days of my life have contained more turns than the tilt a whirl at the fair. And trying to figure out how to react, or even more, how to fit leaves me feeling a bit discombobulated and very out of control.

I’m aware of issues needing correction.  I’m even more aware we seem to be taking the wrong path.

Will we turn around before the dead end?

God promises that his thoughts are not my thoughts nor his ways my ways.  But really, would it be too much for you to hurry up? The longer you wait, the bigger the mess becomes. And, I don’t even begin to understand the role I am to play.

You command me to trust in you with all my heart. Lord, help me.

You command me to lean on your understanding. Lord, help me.

You promise to make my paths straight.  Can you get to work on that?

My level of trust in God is a clear measurement of my faith.  Lord, I am found lacking.  Yet, you say mountains can be move with the faith of a mustard seeds.

I implore you, Lord.  Move my mountains.

 

This post is linking up with Kate Moutaung’s five minute Friday.  It is a five minute free write based on a prompt. No edit’s. No revisions.  To see more like this, or to link up, click here.

 

 

Five Minute Friday: Doubt

This post is part of Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday Linkup.  Each week, a prompt is given in which you have five minutes to write- unedited.  For more like this, or to linkup, click here.

Doubt.

It starts as a tiny seed.  A needle prick to my conscience. It causes me to stop and question everything.

My character.

My judgement.

My ability.

My influence.

It is a voice so still and quiet yet it stops me in my tracks. Stirs anxiety and incites fear. It causes me to miss victories, monumental and small as I am so focused on wrong versus right.

It is the emotion causing me to stop and evaluate circumstances for clear perspective yet it is the source of my greatest insecurities.

It is the greatest reason I choose cowardice over courage.

Yet when I doubt, I know this: “God has not given me a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power, love and a strong mind.”

For me, this reason is enough to continue moving forward, even in times of doubt.

Five Minute Friday: Same

Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in a rut.

Like, my rut is so deep, the dog knows exactly where I am going as soon as my feet hit the floor.  She used to follow me, but now she leads.

To the bathroom.

To the coffee maker.

Outside.  (Wonderdogs have to potty, too).

Then we get her bone. My nose spray. Her butterfly cheese.

Coffee’s done!

And so the day goes.  Work. Carpool.  Meetings.

I wonder if I will ever escape?

Yet, in the midst of the same, everything changes.  My kids grow up and seek independence. I seek new goals and pursue new dreams. I find things that fit yesterday don’t seem to fit today.

Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s not.

Yet in the midst of the same, I find myself blessed beyond comparison. I seek to treasure each new day. I mourn lost opportunity.  I wake up with a new measure of intention to make today just a little better than yesterday.

And when I pause I realize- maybe things aren’t really the same at all.

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This post is linked up with Kate Motaung’s five minute friday free write. You can find more like this at Kate Moutaung‘s , or you can take a stab at it yourself. See you there

Five Minute Friday: Find

I walk out the aisle and meet eyes with my husband as he walks towards me.

One.

Two.

Hmmm, our third child appears to be missing.

“Where’s Madi?”, we say in stereo.

“She was following you, last I saw”, I reply.

“Well, she wasn’t with me”, he states.

I find the nearest employee.  She radios information through her walkie talkie like a Code Adam pro.  Red shirts converge from every corner of the store searching every nook and cranny for our missing preschooler.

I mean, seriously, where do they keep these guys?  I had a question about a tent and it was like crickets.

Hello, Anyone?

After 20 minutes of frantic searching, my husband passes a clothing rack.  The employee flips through each shirt with precise accuracy.  However, the sleeves at the end of the row seem to be dancing on their own accord.  David walks over and separates the swinging sleeves.

“You found me!”, exclaims our missing Madi.

Sigh.  Will we get this child raised without complete loss of sanity or jail time.

Have you found yourself hiding lately? Feeling invisible to the world surrounding you?

Unlike my Peak A Boo Princess, we are not unseen when we hide.  Psalm 139 says this:

I can never escape from your Spirit!  I can never getaway from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there.  If I ride the winds of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night- but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day.  Darkness and light are the same to you.

We have a God who will go with us to depths only to bring us back home to his safety net of presence once more.

Allow him to find you today.

 

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This post is linked up with Kate Motaung’s five minute friday free write. You can find more like this at Kate Moutaung‘s , or you can take a stab at it yourself. See you there

 

Five Minute Friday: Learn

“School is a cuss word”, my feisty 7 year old declares as we approach her registration line. “Ugh. I just don’t wanna go.”

Embarrassed, I lean down to correct her.  This behavior is not acceptable, nor is it in line with her past opinion of academic education. She loves school.  She loves learning new ideas.  Exploring new books and meeting new friends.  She excels.

I think of another mom our mission team met in Mexico last summer.  As I fretted about being gone during school registration, leaving the task to my hubby, this mom had yet to successfully register her son in their local school system. He should have been in third grade.  But because she could not produce the appropriate paperwork, or pay a lawyer $5000 to advocate, her son had yet to complete kindergarten.

“School is a blessing”, I say to my daughter.  “You are so lucky to be in a country that allows free education.  Allows you to dream.  To learn. To be whatever you want to be. Be thankful for school. Be thankful for the chance to learn and to grow. Be thankful that someday, you can be whoever you want to be.  Be thankful for the blessed gift of learning.”

And to all who educate, Thank You for investing into the lives of our children. May their potential be limitless.

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This post is linked up with Kate Motaung’s five minute friday free write. You can find more like this at Kate Moutaung‘s , or you can take a stab at it yourself. See you there.

 

 

 

Five Minute Friday: Here

I’m here, Lord.

Right where you have called me to be.  But in the midst of being here, I’m confused. Things just aren’t working out to my expectation. I’m not getting it.  I’m doing everything you have called me to do yet I feel like I’m standing in the midst of a wind storm holding tightly to the strings of control.

I’m watching those very strings unravel.

Is this how Abraham felt as he tied the ropes around his beloved son Isaac on the altar?

Or the confused Samaritan woman sitting at the well?

Jesus, beaten and battered, drawing breath on the cross in his last moments of humanity?

God, your way doesn’t make sense to me here. But you see the entire picture, not just the snapshot of emotion in the moment. So for that, I thank you.  Lord, I praise you for what is yet to come.

Uphold me as I continue to stand right here.

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This post is linked up with Kate Motaung’s five minute friday free write. You can find more like this at Kate Moutaung‘s , or you can take a stab at it yourself. See you there.

Five Minute Friday: Ten

Ten.  It’s the score of perfection.

My performance is flawless.

It’s what I strive for.

A status.  A quick way to show the world, and my closest competitors,  I have it all together when I train and when I compete.

But what happens when my score falls below the mark?

I stoop and stew.

I compare.

I pick up my crutches of guilt and shame.

I may even pout for a bit.

But then I remember I am not alone.  I remember the power of Christ living strong within me.  A power made perfect in my weakness & imperfections.

No matter how big the divide, Jesus

“Call on me.  Lean in to me”, he reminds me with a still, small voice.

My Savior.  My Redeemer. My Rescuer.

My perfect ten.

Every. Single. Time.

 

 

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This post is linked up with Kate Motaung’s five minute friday free write. You can find more like this at Kate Moutaung‘s , or you can take a stab at it yourself. See you there.

 

Five Minute Friday: Dreams

“Last night I had a dream.” I say.

“So did Martin Luther King and look how that turned out for him”, is the reply I receive.

Ever had this response?

I’ve always been a big dreamer.  But my people are firmly planted.  I’ve been raised to appreciate what I have.

Employment.

A home in which to reside.

Financial income to pay the bills.

And I do appreciate them.

Yet sometimes, secretly, these things aren’t good enough for me.  I want more.  I want it all. Most of the time, I’m not afraid to go after the dreams of my heart.

But sometimes I am.

Mostly when chasing my dreams would directly affect the people I am responsible to.  Namely, my husband and kids.

I find myself living in a tension of chasing what I want most in life while seeking contentment in THIS season.  Right here, right now.  Taking baby steps toward the purposes of God planted in my heart long ago while keeping my nose to the grindstone so my kids might not have to fight so hard to have what they want from life.

I long to be a risk taker but my current role is responsibility.

I long to be free to do as I wish and please but realize God is molding and shaping right here.

I long to have the dreams of my heart answered, but recognize that God’s work is not yet complete in me.  There is still more to do to become ready.

So while I wait, I pray for contentment.  I pray for the ability to recognize God at work in me.  I pray for peace in this season while I dream of plans I have yet to realize.

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

Galatians 6:4,5 (msg)

 

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This post is linked up with Kate Motaung’s five minute friday free write. You can find more like this at Kate Moutaung‘s , or you can take a stab at it yourself. See you there.